Barb's Blog

When women divorce, there comes a time when we resolve to move forward with a new life after divorce, and rescue ourselves from difficulties and painful memories.  All the divorce support we find, tells us moving forward will take a lot of introspection, soul-searching, and trust.

After much hard work, dealing with with the issues of my divorce, and personal issues, I felt I was improving and healing, and I was so grateful and proud of my personal growth.

Then one day I saw my ex, and everything I thought I had accomplished vanished in a flash. I was overwhelmed with intense emotions.  I became despondent and frustrated.  I was certain I was a failure, and that I'd never get my life back together.

I confided my fears to a dear friend who had been divorced for many years. 

"Oh, she said, "you just had The Visit."

"The Visit?" I asked.  "What are you talking about?"

She explained that every once in a while, emotions, memories, pain and hurt will come flooding back.  It didn't mean that I was sliding back down a hill into the morass and the muck of my old ways.  It didn't mean I had failed to move forward.  It simply meant that I was human, and it was natural that powerful emotions would resurface every once in a while.

"As time goes by," she explained, "The Visit will come less, with less intensity, and will last for less time.  And then one day it will no longer return."

As we each resolve to move forward, let us please be gentle and patient with ourselves.  Let us remember that even with The Visit appearing now and then, we are on our way, and our future still holds much promise.

If you are looking for support on your journey, please consider joining our monthly Dinners at Biaggi's Restaurant in Eden Prairie. listed on our News and Events Page.