Barb's Blog

Joining the ranks of other women and divorce, I came to the painful realization that duirng my marriage I had lost my voice, and with it, the ability to speak my truth.  I hoped finding it would be like finding my car keys at the bottom of my purse or the sunglasses I had forgotten I'd placed on top of my head.  I was wrong!

After searching outside of myself for a long time, I realized my voice wasn't lost.  It was hidden.  I had buried it deep inside myself to protect it from being battered and atttacked.

It was buried so deep, sometimes I could only hear it whisper to me.  And in all the racket of daily life, soon I could hear nothing.  There was only silence.  I ached, sensing I'd lost touch with something vital and not remembering what it was.

When we lose our voice, our spirit fades, we feel unsettled and anxious.  We believe we are powerless, give up on ourselves, and stop trusting ourselves.  We can become depressed and resentful.  Some of us rage inappropriately.  And then we desperately look to other people or material things to define us.

To excavate our precious voice takes courge and patience.  I had always believed if I spoke my truth, I would be abandoned.  I had forgotten (or it hurts to admit, I never experienced), that someone who truly loved me would listen to me with respect.  Then I realized, by silencing my voice, I was the one who abandoned myself.

Determined never to let this happen again, I began to ignore the racket and listen carefully for those whipsers.  There was tremendous power in this simple act.  The more I listened, the stronger my voice became, and soon I found the courage to act on what I heard.

Maybe finding our voice is like finding our car keys and sunglasses.  We can get behind the wheel of our life, protect our eyes form any harsh glare, and start down the road singing our favorite song.